Leilalicks’s Weblog

So, Christmas is over and there are only a few days left of 2007. Time for a little look back, a review of the year that’s almost gone to quit it neatly and be ready for something new in 2008.

2007 started quite good – I still remember this gorgeous gothic party I have been at. They messed it up with the countdown but it just didn’t matter – all what mattered whas that I had a great time dancing the whole night through, something you normally only can do at gothic partys. The year took its course, nothing extraordinary happened, I went to work every day and was happy with that. That’s where I first met, virtually, my future manager. Have I ever mentioned how much I love coincidences and how much I love networking???

So, I lived through winter, I lived through spring, until that period arrived when I lost everything I used to call my life. Everything. And although it was summer, it was one of the darkest times I ever had – the light of the sun could not shine through this big black cloud called mysery. I had to learn that every message has two sides and that the big skill of communication is to find out which side is meant for you and to be able to point out which side you mean yourself. But I was strong, I stood up again and built myself a whole new life. A life with much more music than ever before!

I started to write songs, organise a band, got to know many new people, write this blog, build up a whole network of people that help me with what I want to achieve. And after some ups and downs that I usually have quite usually, I can say that I leave this year behind in peace and that I’m thankful for all the downs that helped me to find out who I am, what I want and brought me even brighter ups than the ones I had before!

And as I’m just being thankful, I’d like to say “Thank you” to a few people:

First of all, a huge thank you to all my friends! In times of darkness and sadness, you were the ones that brought me through, stood by me and got my feet back on the ground! I love you all, I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many good folks!!! And thanks for all the good parties and laughter we shared!

Thanks to A. – although you’re no longer here, I still feel your presence and you are still a part of my life, somehow. You are my guardian angel, I’m so sure bout that! Thanks for always telling me when it would be too much!

Thank you to my own personal book keeper It’s good to know that someone has an overview on facts and figures as I am becoming the messiest person on earth, I fear. Go ahead with your dreams and don’t let anyone stand in your way! I believe in you!

To the best producer in CH: thank you for giving me the opportunity to record two songs at your studio to be able to offer a very special and personal gift to our friend. There’s nothing more personal one can give than a song and it really showed its effect. I feel blessed that you gave me some of your precious time!
Marco, my photographer, thank you so much for finding some time somewhere in your dense schedule to care about me. It’s such an honor to stand in front of your camera where usually only the big, big, biiiig shots stand. I truely adore your work so far and I’m really looking forward to be part of your art project.
Thank you to Ursi, my singing teacher. You always seem to know what I need – I don’t know how you do that but it’s great! Thank you for pushing me, for shaping my voice into something I am proud of, thank you for your patience while singing the same part over and over again! Thank you for this long lasting friendship!

To Dominic, our producer in Barcelona: Thank you for joining us and being part of the LL family! I’m really looking forward to working with you and I hope I can give you lots of songs to work on in the near future

A big Thank you goes as well to Kalu, my big drummer boy. Thanks for being so enthusiastic, thanks for having so much power and thanks for the blinking in your eyes when you talk about music! It will be a great year full of good sound!

Last, but not least at all: Payo. Thank you so much! Thank you for believing in me and my music, thank you for pushing me too much sometimes (when I get too lazy), thank you for all your creativity, your great british humour and all the work you’ve done so far! It just feels so good to have someone like you by my side. Please, never stop believing in what we can become!

Now I’m close to tears, snief…

A great 2008 to everyone, share laughter, make people smile, take care of your life – you only have this one!

My feet hurt. My belly hurts. I laughed too much yesterday. One of my friends is just the funniest person on earth! Each time he opens up his mouth, there’s a joke coming out. And always a very good one. I have to take care that I am able to breathe when I’m with him – it’s always very dangerous! So, he invited me to this Christmas party in Berne. VIP pass – what else. And vouchers for free drinks. Dangerous. But then, I didn’t even have time to drink that much as I was dancing like mad for hours. That’s why my feet hurt now. I should have known – don’t wear high heels when you go dancing, Leila!

I realized once more, how small this supposed big world is – the girls that came with us knew a bunch of people I went to school with! Ok, maybe this is not too much of a coincidence, as I grew up in the mountains of the Bernese Oberland. But still. You have to take care what you say about other people – it might be the cousin of someone who’s around

The mood at the party was great! Everyone was dancing and laughing and singing along and as the DJ put on ZüriWest, the crowd got mad! There’s a few things you need to know about Berne. 1. Berne is the capital city of Switzerland. 2. Berne is ugly. 3. Berne has a big construction site around the station at the moment that makes it nearly impossible to reach trains in time. 4. People from Berne and surroundings are known as slow and unhurried (which is only a prejudice, as they need to be that slow so that everyone else can follow… I have to know, as I’m from there as well – when there are just Bernese folks, we talk very fast! ) 5. Some people say that the dialect from Berne is the most beautiful in the German part of Switzerland (I will not vote on this ) 6. Berne is the Mecca of dialect music. (as the Bernese dialect is the only one to make good dialect music out of…) 7. There are two very successfull bands from Berne that you need to know (belongs to general education): ZüriWest and Patent Ochsner. 8. Everyone in Berne knows all of their songs by heart. 9. Everyone in Berne is proud about their music and the fact that they are from Berne. With all this knowledge, we can go ahead with the story: the DJ put ZüriWest on. “I ha di gärn gha”. Everyone was singing along. Later on, “Echo“. Everyone was singing along. And later on, Patent Ochsner, “D W. Nuss vo Bümpliz“. Everyone was singing along – so loud that you couldn’t hear the song itself anymore. I hope you can imagine how hot it was!

Now, I’m sitting here, writing, and hoping that it will be time to go to sleep soon – I’m soooooo tired Just….. another….. word………… and…………………. then…………………… it’s…………………………………….. chrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……………………..

So this is Christmas, and what will I do? I’m really dressed up like a lady at the moment – going to have dinner half way spontaneously with a friend. He’s not a christian and so he’s not into this Christmas thing as well. And as we are both alone and both in Zurich, we thought it might be a good thing to share this evening together. So I dressed up a lil bit, just to get the feeling for this special evening and because I love dressing up so much! And although I’m not celebrating Christmas like all the others do, it’s still a special time – I got so many lovely wishes and cards I sometimes had to cry reading them as they touched me so much.

I finally feel calm and relaxed – all cards written and sent, all wishes delivered and even the three songs I had to finish until tomorrow are done. So I could just hang around a little bit, doing nothing. But as I know me, this will not be possible, as I feel quite creative these days and I have so many ideas for other songs that I want to work on this. And of course go skiing and meet friends and, and, and…

For one song, I had some problems – I just wasn’t happy with the melody of the verse. And I tried other ones that then didn’t fit to the rest and I ended up taking finally the first version. I always have this problem: I’m somehow stuck on the first version of something, lyrics, melodies, anything. Maybe this comes from how I write. It’s usually something that comes to me, that I don’t look for. These days, songs come to me when I go to sleep. I lay awake and think of all different things and suddendly, something comes to my mind. So I have to record it quickly, otherwise it will be gone. Maybe this is why I’m always tired!

And so this is Christmas, I hope, you have fun, the yellow and black ones, the old and the young. A merry, merry Christmas, and a happy new year, let’s hope it’s a good one, without any fear!

Christmas is getting closer and closer. And it’s the first time since years I’m looking forward to it. And I really don’t understand why all my friends are shocked when I tell them that I will spend it alone at home. It will be the most peacful time of year ever – just me and my first love. Music. So what could one want more? I don’t need no presents, I don’t need a Christmas tree and I don’t need a family that only comes together just because it’s Christmas. I will just write songs, songs, songs. I have so many ideas at the moment – they come up each time when I go to bed and want to sleep but lie awake. Seems to be a lot going on inside of me… As if Santa Clause would bring me songs for present

I have been asked to precise this pilot thing a bit. So, here we go. It started when I was born already, I think. Maybe even before. My grandfather was a gliderpilot, my mom was a gliderpilot and so I spent most of my early days and years on the airfield or even in the air. When I was six, my time around airplanes was gone for a few years due to a heavy accident and so I somehow forgot about this again. But I was still very interested in all technical stuff so one day I came up with the idea of flying model airplanes, what I did for quite a few years.

But sure, it’s not the same as flying yourself and so when I was old enough and had some money to spend, I decided to get for the licence as a glider pilot. It was so much fun! It’s really the best thing you can have – being alone, far from everything, no noise, just you and some hot rising air. And the view up there is just so gorgeous! It’s like heaven in heaven…

So I did this for a few years but then, as it takes quite a lot of time all in all, I had to decide what I wanted and I decided to focus on music and leave flying beside – didn’t want to be an unsure pilot with not enough experience, this can be dangerous. And now, it’s already been two years that I was not sitting in an airplane anymore. I sure miss it, gonna get my licence back one day. But first I have to earn a lot of money with my music so I can buy my own plane

Thursday was defenitely one of these days you’d better delete from your memory. It got me bad in the morning – I was thrown back to my past and I was mourning in memory asking myself why separation is always that hard and why it wouldn’t stop even if it’s half a year away. I kept on thinking about it the whole day and it got me deeper and deeper and I could not figure out a way to stop this feeling. How could I ever get over a past that was so precious and nice? How could I ever think about everything I experienced in this relationship in peace? These thoughts drilled my brain and heart. So good that I had something to stick on – had an appointment, fixed long ago as everyone is so busy these times, to see my girls and go for a “Glühwein”. Very nice drink, keeps you warm in days of coolness! So they tried to get me back up – wasn’t easy but at least they managed to get me thinking of something else. Thank you, honeys, love you much!
Then, the worst thing happened: a friend called me and asked if I would like to come to News bar. Never ever drink when you are depressed! It’s not good, it will not work… I should know better. But still, I thought it’s a good idea and so I went to see him. This is where the inevitable began. Or maybe, it was, when he proposed to go to another location I will not name because it’s just too embarassing. The only thing I say about is: it’s like Oktoberfest all the year! Jesus, save my soul!

No idea, which time I actually got to sleep, just remember that my alarm bell rang at 6:30 the next morning. Despite the fact that I have been out, I was quite in good shape. But tired. And worried. Not about how to survive work but more how to survive the christmas party with my office mates in the evening. Huuui, again lots of nice white and red wine, lots of chatting and laughing and so I completely forgot about my problems. I even had to do a lil runway show for my friends in the train, as I had this nice black skirt on and everyone wanted to see it. Quite a hard job with a dizzy head and a shaking train

When you are depressed, after each party, it’s even worse. So I think, I’ll just stay at home tonight and dive deep into music. Oh my godness, I’m a drama queen! I’m a whiny Swiss bitch! Let’s stop that

I’m just back from going out very spontaneously with some of my new friends I just met two weeks ago in Interlaken. Got a message this morning that they will be in Zurich and so we fixed something for having a beer.

He’s a skydive master and he plans a ski weekend with skydiving soon. Looking very forward to it! Will maybe be my first jump! As a former glider pilot, I always had the opinion that I would not jump out of a plane as long as it still flys. But as I’m not flying myself at the moment, I may revise this opinion

So we were there, at News bar again (somehow becoming my favourite bar ) and just by coincidence there was one of my best friends coming too and then we met lots and lots of other skydivers as well, just like that. I was feeling quite strange as the only person not doing skydiving. But maybe, I’ll start, who knows. Seems to be something that fits me